• Donald Holmes

How the DISC Assessment Can Help You

Updated: Sep 17, 2020

Today, we're going to talk about the DISC Assessment and how it can help you in life and your marriage. Before we get into it, I’d like to review some major complaints that we've seen in marriages.

Common Marriage Complaints:

The #1 complaint we've seen here is communication. Sometimes, it’s like one spouse is speaking French and the other is speaking Spanish. For whatever reason, they just can't seem to understand each other.

With a lack of understanding, it brings about the second complaint: conflict resolution. This brings out a divisiveness of communication styles. They just can't seem to resolve conflicts.

Kids is another common complaint. Oftentimes, you are merging people from two different backgrounds and parenting styles. Trying to bring them together into one family and one unit is challenging with two different visions on how they should raise kids.

What's acceptable for a girl is not usually acceptable for boy. Are there any double standards?

When it's hard to resolve conflict and communication, trust isn't streamlined on the same level. Sometimes couples stop trusting each other, due to immaturity or they can't see eye-to-eye.

That affects their intimacy. With that lack of understanding, it’s hard for them to find a connection or emotional balance and harmony.

Finances is another common relationship complaint. Oftentimes, you'll have one spouse who is micromanaging the budget and the other has no idea what’s a budget. This lack of resolution in leads to more conflict between them.

Finances, fidelity or infidelity, and conflict resolution has a major impact on trust and intimacy. One spouse may step outside the relationship to find comfort: socially, sexually, or emotionally.

If you Google “complaints or reasons for divorce” you’ll find 10,000 different things, but most of them will fall inside of one of these categories.

What Is the DISC Assessment?

The DISC Assessment was created by Dr. William Marston in 1928. He also invented the lie detector test, and the heart monitor people have to wear while taking other tests from detectives.

Do you remember when Wonder Woman would get outside of her invisible jet and take out her lasso? If you would get hit with her lasso, then you’d have to tell the truth.

All these have one thing in common: the truth. The DISC Assessment brings out the truth of your natural tendencies, preferences, talents and communication style. Take a look at the chart below to learn about the different categories of the DISC Assessment:


D – Dominance and Decisive

Most people who score high in the D are straight to the point. They like to get from point A to point B. T They have a driving, pioneering personality.

A good job for anyone who scores a high D be would be a first responder or a coach. Anyone who's going to be good at getting you from danger to safety. They help you get you from where you are to your next goal.

Famous high D’s are likely Michael Jordan, Kobe, and maybe even President Trump. These people have a very strong, dominant personality.

I – Influencing and Interactive

Normally, the life of the party is a high I. They’re inspiring, magnetic and always have people around them. They draw people close to them. These people are likely speakers, clergy and even a comedian. Famous high I’s are likely Will Smith, Ellen and President Obama.

Both Ds and Is are outspoken extroverts.


S – Steady and Stable

In the bottom half of the graph, you have the S section. Anyone who scores a high S is steady and stable. These people are normally patient and predictable.

They’re likely to have a job in logistics, programming or something where they do the same thing again and again. Famous high S’ are likely Black Widow and Hawkeye from Marvel, and Michael Jordan’s sidekick Scotty Pippin.

C – Cautious and Compliant

High C’s are cautious and compliant. They are systematic and perfectionist. They may have a job as a lawmaker or a city code enforcer.

Famous high C’s are likely CPO from Star Wars, Mr. Spock from Star Trek and Bill Gates.

Dr. Marston wrote the theory of the DISC with the discovery that D and I’s are extroverts, while S and C’s are introverts. I and S’ are people oriented. They talk about the people of events: who did what and maybe even namedrop. D and C’s are task oriented. They talk about big events and what happened.

How the DISC Assessment Can Help Your Marriage

The DISC Assessment will help your marriage, just as it has helped mine. Listen to this: last week, my wife and I were on vacation. I'm a former Marine, so I like to shoot. We wanted to get our shooting permits, so we went to the class. The instructor told us print off the application, take it to the DMV and you're good to go.

As a high D, my superpower is tackling problems. My wife is a high C and her superpower is handling procedures. At first, my wife was overwhelmed with the problem since there was a lot required to get it. She allowed me to take the lead the problem as I created the plan to tackle it. Meanwhile, I then submitted to her superpower and let her handle the details of the procedures.

We were able to effectively communicate and resolve an issue before it led to conflict. Before we took the DISC Assessment, we would have fought about this situation because we weren’t acting on our strengths.

The DISC Assessment gives you self-awareness and couple-awareness. It works so well that we had our kids take it, as well.

Our youngest son is a high I, so his superpower is interacting with people. Our daughter is a high C (same as my wife), and my oldest son is an S. His superpower is pace.

Now that we know everyone’s natural tendencies, talents and preferences—we now have family awareness, too. This helps us improve our parenting because we communicate better. We have a full understanding of each other and can trust each other completely.

Now that we trust each other, we can easily be fruitful and successful. This had a major impact on our family:

  • I’m self-aware of myself.

  • My wife is self-aware of herself.

  • We are self-aware of each other as a couple.

  • Our kids are self-aware of themselves.

  • We are self-aware of each other as a family.

We are living as our authentic selves, trust more and judge less. You’ll also be able to understand each other’s true authentic self, which leads to an influx of trust. The impact it has had on our family has been life-changing.

If you want to have the same impact within your relationship and family, please click here to book a free 30-min consultation. We’ll discuss coaching options we have available to walk you through your own DISC Assessment. Let’s create the marriage God has in store for you!

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